Thursday, January 27, 2011

Keeping The Faith

Wouldn't you think there's nothing more motivating than an upcoming wedding to help get focused on eating right and working out? You'd be right. Kind of. It definitely makes you think about it a lot more. In fact I have been obsessively thinking about not much else lately.  But it's not motivating or helping- it's hurting.
I have been struggling.  I mentioned in my last blog post that I joined Weight Watchers- well I gained 2.5 lbs my first week.  Not something I'm proud of.  Not a fluke though either- it wasn't the program that was broken. 
The pressure of knowing that this big day is coming is getting to me.  Food in general is stressing me out.  I am constantly battling negative thoughts about being a "fat bride". When this mindset sets in it's easy to forget how much I know.  I know how to follow a diet. I know how to eat right.  I know how to plan meals and workouts ahead for success. I have the tools, but when I'm overwhelmed I lose this confidence in myself and feel helpless and out of control.
It's hard for me to even write this blog- but in a way it's part of me battling my demons.  I am GOING to to do this. And I'm going to do it without hating myself along the way.  The point a  wedding is not to be skinny, or beautiful. It's to publicly commit to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with in front of your friends and family- a wonderful once in a lifetime occasion.  And on that day- the most important thing is that I'm happy inside. And I won't be if I torture myself for the next 9 months.  Does this mean I'm giving up my weight loss goal? Heck no.  It just means I'm going to work on calming down and focusing on doing what I know, not on instant results. I'm going to give Weight Watchers a shot, really working the program and stick with it for a few months before deciding if it works for me. I'm going to make working out a priority and I'm going to keep my kitchen stocked with healthy options.  Most importantly, I'm going to trust in myself and my own ability to make this happen. 
My Points Calculator!
So- actions speak louder than words. I started last night with a healthy grocery trip and then this morning labeled EVERYTHING in my fridge with Weight Watchers points.  That way when I pick something up-even if I'm grabbing on the go, there's no mystery in what I'm eating. For breakfast I had peach Greek yogurt with a half cup Go Lean and sliced bananas mixed in.  It was delicious, filling and only 5 points. (I get 30 per day). Midmorining snack will be a TJ's mini fiber muffin (2pts) Lunch will be a sandwich thin with turkey, cheese, lettuce and mustard (7pts) afternoon snack of either one of my think thin mini bars (3 pts) or an apple and laughing cow cheese wedge (1pt).  Dinner tonight will be a chicken salad (6), because I've got book club and I want to save room for a glass of wine (4pts) and a few appetizers(3-5)pts.
So there it is. Not crazy, just smart balanced eating. Managing my mindset.  I know I can do this.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Big News! (and Operation Beautiful Bride...)

I'm ENGAGED!! I am so incredibly happy to share that Chris proposed on New Years and I said YES!  If you've read the blog for a while, you'll see mentions of Chris pop up quite a bit. There has never been a day he didn't support me, tolerate me, or motivate me along my healthy living journey and I am so lucky and excited to share the rest of my life with him.
SHORT version engagement story (for the girls): We were flying to Denver for a fun New Years Eve weekend, and final Chargers game of the season. Chris had previously planned an outdoor proposal but it was 7 DEGREES out so plans changed into him booking me a pedicure in the beautiful spa in The Brown Palace Hotel where we were staying.  I still had my toes drying on the tub when he came in with roses, champagne and the most beautiful, perfect ring I've ever seen in my entire life. (Thank you !!! )  It was an incredible proposal and I couldn't say yes fast enough. The rest of the weekend was a blur of fun, excitement, and romance in beautiful snowy Denver. A magical, happy, happy trip that I will never forget.
So... that being said, and this STILL being a health blog (I will try not to bore you with endless wedding planning details) I am obviously on to the next step- Plan Bride. 
I don't want to just look good on my big day, I want to look ridiculously amazing.  I want to look better than I ever have in my entire life. What does that mean? Getting to my goal weight, having buff bridal arms, and definitely a full blown hair and makeup team (you can't do it all yourself!).
Our wedding date is still being worked out, but the soonest would be this fall, which gives me at least 9 months to get my butt in gear which is PLENTY of time to make a big difference in a healthy way. 
So how am I going to tackle this challenge? I'm joining Weight Watchers! They have recently revamped their program to put more of an emphasis on healthy or whole food eating, while still using a Points system.  I've seen many friends on their previous points system lose weight, keep it off, and use the skills and tools learned in WW to maintain healthy eating. My main reason for joining is the accountability and progress tracking- a weekly weigh in is huge motivation for me. My first meeting is this Saturday- I'll let you know how it goes!
As for working out- I'm continuing Bar Method.  I'm trying to get there 4x week- and I am already SO much stronger than when I started.  I also signed up for the Camp Pendleton Mud Run in June.  This is a 10k course full of mud, obstacles, and screaming army Sargents.  I'm terrified but excited and know having this goal will motivate me to get back into running.
So that's what's new with me! Once the crazy engagement celebration weekend was over, these last few week's I've been focusing on getting back to healthy eating, food journaling and counting calories. The thing that's most amazing to me (that I had somehow forgotten) is what great food you can eat while still counting calories! This morning for breakfast, I had topped a piece of Ezekial toast with a fried egg and cut up chicken sausage and Laughing Cow light cheese- for a delicious and filling breakfast that was only 235 calories! And for lunch I had a frozen Amy's brand organic cheese enchilada with beans and corn that was SO cheesy and delicious for only 370. Get ready for lots of upcoming blogs with meal ideas, recipes and product recommendations! It can be fun to eat right. :)
PS. Sad news on my NYE little black dress.  It was still too tight so I wore a different outfit instead (which must not have been too bad, Chris proposed after all :) Maybe I'll save the dress for my rehearsal dinner- by then it should be falling off!