Thursday, January 27, 2011

Keeping The Faith

Wouldn't you think there's nothing more motivating than an upcoming wedding to help get focused on eating right and working out? You'd be right. Kind of. It definitely makes you think about it a lot more. In fact I have been obsessively thinking about not much else lately.  But it's not motivating or helping- it's hurting.
I have been struggling.  I mentioned in my last blog post that I joined Weight Watchers- well I gained 2.5 lbs my first week.  Not something I'm proud of.  Not a fluke though either- it wasn't the program that was broken. 
The pressure of knowing that this big day is coming is getting to me.  Food in general is stressing me out.  I am constantly battling negative thoughts about being a "fat bride". When this mindset sets in it's easy to forget how much I know.  I know how to follow a diet. I know how to eat right.  I know how to plan meals and workouts ahead for success. I have the tools, but when I'm overwhelmed I lose this confidence in myself and feel helpless and out of control.
It's hard for me to even write this blog- but in a way it's part of me battling my demons.  I am GOING to to do this. And I'm going to do it without hating myself along the way.  The point a  wedding is not to be skinny, or beautiful. It's to publicly commit to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with in front of your friends and family- a wonderful once in a lifetime occasion.  And on that day- the most important thing is that I'm happy inside. And I won't be if I torture myself for the next 9 months.  Does this mean I'm giving up my weight loss goal? Heck no.  It just means I'm going to work on calming down and focusing on doing what I know, not on instant results. I'm going to give Weight Watchers a shot, really working the program and stick with it for a few months before deciding if it works for me. I'm going to make working out a priority and I'm going to keep my kitchen stocked with healthy options.  Most importantly, I'm going to trust in myself and my own ability to make this happen. 
My Points Calculator!
So- actions speak louder than words. I started last night with a healthy grocery trip and then this morning labeled EVERYTHING in my fridge with Weight Watchers points.  That way when I pick something up-even if I'm grabbing on the go, there's no mystery in what I'm eating. For breakfast I had peach Greek yogurt with a half cup Go Lean and sliced bananas mixed in.  It was delicious, filling and only 5 points. (I get 30 per day). Midmorining snack will be a TJ's mini fiber muffin (2pts) Lunch will be a sandwich thin with turkey, cheese, lettuce and mustard (7pts) afternoon snack of either one of my think thin mini bars (3 pts) or an apple and laughing cow cheese wedge (1pt).  Dinner tonight will be a chicken salad (6), because I've got book club and I want to save room for a glass of wine (4pts) and a few appetizers(3-5)pts.
So there it is. Not crazy, just smart balanced eating. Managing my mindset.  I know I can do this.

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